Blah Blah Blah....zzzzzzZZZZZZZ

BANKSY REVEALED

Now Stop Drawing Shit Everywhere Asshole !

A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing crisps from a neighbourhood shop.

The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn't looking (so a camera was installed),

and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of Doritos.

Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and becomes a feast, for other birds!

The seagull's shoplifting started early this month, when he first swooped into the

store in Aberdeen, Scotland, and helped himself to a bag of crisps.

Since then, he's become a "regular".

He always takes the same type of crisps.

Customers have begun paying for the seagull's stolen bags of crisps,... because they think it's so funny!

 They Don't Appreciate Ingenuity Anymore !

I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions.

I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out.

She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, "A folding bottle."

She said, "Okay. What do you call it ?"

"A Fottle."

"What else do you have?"

"A folding carton."

"What do you call it ?"

"A Farton."

She snickered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.

I went to the dentist today.

£40 for 15 minutes work.

I make that £160 per hour.

I wish I listened at school !

 (And he was sat down)

Amazing Story

I don't normally pass these feel good stories around but this one is special.

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.

The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed his head against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Found This On The Web Under What Does GTB Stand For !      (Here)

Sobering !

Well Whoopee !

Not Exactly News But I Couldn't Resist It !