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The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. Make sure you read it all.....
The answer by one
student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via
the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying
it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
A firefighter who was involved in a prank in which he was spun in a tumble dryer has apologised for his actions.
Andy Bruce, 33, was filmed climbing into the machine at Blackley fire station in Manchester before it was switched on.
Senior fire officers described the incident as foolish and dangerous.
Mr Bruce, who lives in Radcliffe, Bury, has not been suspended but he is likely to face disciplinary charges, the fire service said.
"I am the person in the video, and I'm very sorry," Mr Bruce said.
"I'm fully complying with the internal investigation."
Mr Bruce, who has served with the brigade for four years, together with two other officers, will be questioned about the incident, which was condemned by Assistant County Fire Officer Steve Beckley as being "reckless" and "stupid".
Mr Beckley said: "When I first saw the footage I was horrified that any of our firefighters would think this was an acceptable practice.
"The majority of our firefighters are very professional and put their lives on the line every day."
Asked if those involved would be sacked, he said: "I do not wish to speculate but it is a very serious matter for us.
Disciplinary hearing
"There are number of issues to consider including health and safety and the reputation of the fire service.
"Because of the types of things we have to deal with in our service as firefighters those responsible would be aware of the dangers of doing this."
In the video, Mr Bruce climbs in the machine which is then switched on and he is turned over inside it several times as colleagues laugh in the background.
A full disciplinary hearing is likely to take place within two weeks.
Mystery 'fireman' caught on
camera
AN investigation has been launched after a man believed to be a firefighter was filmed being spun in a tumble dryer while on duty.
The highly dangerous prank is thought to have taken place at a station in Greater Manchester.
Footage of the incident was obtained by the Manchester Evening News.
It shows a man in uniform getting into an industrial drying machine which he packs with clothes to protect himself.
He tells his colleagues: "As soon as I say, let me out."
One officer says: "Get your head near the front . . . get yourself forward a bit."
The machine is then switched on and the fireman is turned over inside it several times as others laugh hysterically.
The door is opened and the fireman complains of feeling dizzy.
The footage, which appears to have been filmed on a mobile phone, was sent to fire bosses and members of the fire authority.
County Fire Officer Barry Dixon said:
“We are trying to find out if this video is of one of our firefighters.
Investigation
“A full investigation has begun and initial information would suggest that it is one of our personnel.
“We are extremely grateful to the individual who brought this incident to our attention.
“The health and safety of our personnel is a priority and we see the investigation, of what appears to be a reckless act, as a priority.”
A fire service spokesman said: “It is blatantly obvious that getting into a tumble dryer, especially of industrial design, is not only foolish, but dangerous in the extreme.”
If tracked down, the fireman involved faces possible disciplinary action for breaching health and safety policy, as well as bringing the reputation of the fire service into disrepute.
The officer in charge of the station at the time could also face action.
The large yellow tumble dryer used in the video footage clearly has a “caution” warning embossed on the front of it.
Accents picked up on the soundtrack of footage appear to be local.
Brigade investigators have already established that the machine is of the type used until recently on stations to clean firefighters’ clothing.
Fire kit in the brigade is now sent away to a contractor to be cleaned, but the machine in the film may have been kept on a station for small-scale cleaning, such as towels.
4th August 2006
Bridget Jones in the famous fireman pole scene
Barmy fire chiefs came under a blaze of criticism today after they banned the traditional fireman's pole - because it posed a 'health and safety hazard'.
Firefighters risk their lives every day but bosses overseeing the construction of a new £2.4 million station ruled the poles are too dangerous.
It is feared someone may slip off and hurt themselves, get repetitive back strain, turn an ankle or, heaven forbid, suffer severe chaffing to the hands and or thighs.
Staff will now have to run down the stairs of the new Greenbank Fire Station in Plymouth, Devon, raising concerns that vital seconds will be lost on their way to a 999 emergency call.
Greenbank Station Officer Ken Mulville (CRT) said: "It is ludicrous - we were all flabbergasted to find we will have to run down the stairs now.
"I would say it takes about half a second to slide down a pole and at least 20 seconds to run down two flights of stairs.
"At the end of the day seconds could be critical when responding to a 999 call." Station Officer Mulville believes using the stairs in an emergency will actually prove more dangerous than sliding down a pole.
He said: "In more than thirty years in the brigade I have seen one or two accidents on poles compared to tens of accidents with people tripping on stairs while responding to incidents."
Many new fire stations are being built on a single level, doing away with the need for a pole. But with stations like Greenbank, where there are three floors, the vast majority still employ a pole as the quickest and easiest way of getting down to the engine and out to an emergency.
Assistant Divisional Officer Ali Macdonald, the Plymouth area commander for Devon Fire and Rescue, insists the new set-up is far better for the health and safety needs of the firefighters.
He said: "Greenbank is one of the fastest stations in the city.
"I would guarantee that there would be a significant number of injuries from poles and the station has been running for nearly two months with stairs with no accidents."
Children visiting the station were banned from using the poles - once the star attraction of a school trip to the local fire brigade - several years ago.
But firefighters, trained to cope with situations of extreme danger, never believed they would fall under the same molly-coddling rules.
Trevor French, from the Fire Brigades Union, said: "This is a long tradition - firefighters have always had sliding poles and it is very sad that it has come to this.
"Poles are a huge part of the image of the fire service - whenever you see us on the television there is always a shot of a firefighter sliding down a pole.
It is a big shame.
"We used to have school visits and let the children slide down the poles, but that was stopped a few years ago, so it isn't surprising really I suppose.
"Sadly we have to bow down to the superiority of the bosses in dealing with health and safety issues in the workplace.
"It seems that in this situation the powers that be have decided a pole is not the safest option."
Sad departure
The loss of their pole marks a sad departure for the firefighters of Greenbank Road, Plymouth, who have had one in their old station since it was built in the 1930s.
Devon Fire and Rescue Service has spent £2.4million on rebuilding the Greenbank station which opened in June - but returning crews were shocked to find they had failed to put in traditional poles.
One firefighter, who did not want to be named, said: "It seems crazy to say its too dangerous to have a pole when we make our living from running into burning buildings."
The modern new station includes a community room fitted out with a multi-media projection system and a better equipped kitchen.
Not all stations have poles, they are omitted from some smaller buildings and single storey structures, but it is common to include them at larger stations like Greenbank which has three floors.
All the other three fire stations in the city of Plymouth - Crownhill, Camels Head and Plympton - have been allowed to keep their poles.
Crews slide from one floor to the next before stepping across a landing and sliding down to the next level - some stations have two sets of poles. Rest rooms at Greenbank are on the third floor, meaning firefighters have to run down two flights of stairs for incidents at night.
But fire chiefs say the design of Greenbank station was changed part way through the project so that the firefighters' rooms were moved from the first floor to the top floor.
It meant it was too late to put pole drops in the station - but they deny using the stairs is any slower say response times prove it.
Devon's Chief Fire Officer Paul Young said: "This story has been taken out of all proportion. There is no Service policy which dictates that new fire stations in the future will not have poles.
"A judgement is made during the design of each station. In the nine years I have been Chief Fire Officer of Devon, we have built two fire stations where firefighters occupy the premises 24 hours a day - Exmouth has a pole and Greenbank doesn't.
"The Fire Brigades Union and Station Health and Safety Representatives were intimately involved in the discussions for the design of the new station at Greenbank.
"As a consequence, the interests of the firefighters were taken into account at all times. The evidence is that there has been no increase in response times as a consequence of not having a traditional pole.
"The design of each station is determined by a whole host of issues and the fact that there isn't a pole at Greenbank doesn't mean there will never be poles at fire stations in the future."
West Midlands Fire Service has the longest fireman's pole in Europe at Birmingham with a 40ft drop.
The first firemen's poles are thought to have been introduced in London when fire engines were horse-drawn and firemen lived above the stables.
Taken from The Daily Mail website so no emails to me about the shite grammar please !
Lily the white cat from Carlisle.
A family's three-year-old pet has become the first victim of new fire service health and safety rules which mean they can no longer rescue cats from trees.
For as long as anyone can remember it has been one of the fire brigade's less dramatic tasks to rescue stranded moggies.
Once poor Lily, a frightened white cat from Carlisle, might have been plucked to safety in minutes - but not any more.
The fire brigade arrived, carried out a risk assessment and drove away again.
It mean Lily was trapped 40ft up a Sycamore tree close to the M6 motorway for nearly five days.
She was rescued eventually by tree surgeon Stuart Carr using ropes, harnesses and a cat basket.
Owners Liz Bailey and her son Daniel, 20, first noticed Lily was missing on Friday.
Liz said: "She doesn't usually stay out.
We were a bit worried, then Daniel spotted her up the tree on Sunday." They approached the fire service and the RSPCA after failing to entice Lily down with food.
A representative from the Cumbria fire service completed a risk assessment, but said that a rescue attempt would place officers at risk.
Tony Stoddart, Cumbria Fire and Rescue Service's area manager for Carlisle and Eden, said: "Firefighters from the UK have been paralysed trying to rescue cats.
"We don't find many skeletons of cats up trees, so the risks far outweighed the benefits in this case."
Chris Towler, Cumbria's RSPCA inspector, turned to the expertise of a tree surgeon when firefighters couldn't help.
He said: "Unless you are specifically trained you cannot work at height.
This is the first time we have had a job refused by the fire service, but I believe they would have helped if they could."
It was feared that Lily may have become dehydrated in the recent heatwave, but a health check after the rescue revealed that she was in good condition.
She is now happily reunited with best pal and room-mate, Dartagnon, a Maine coon cat.
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This guy has since been released and is now living in Italy
